good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
