Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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