I smell stomach acid.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
