problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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