everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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