I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
