Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
