she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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