Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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