someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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