Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
