All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
