I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize