I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
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Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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