Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
