She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize