isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
