I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
