Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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