Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
