I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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