it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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