I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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