you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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