he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
