Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
