drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
