I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
