I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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