You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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