okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
