We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
