God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
