you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
