PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
