I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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