We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize