yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize