Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
