Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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