Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
