but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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