Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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