I puked a lego.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
