i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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