what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
