end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
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I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
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And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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