So drunk, too bad you don't want this
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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