by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
