So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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