I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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