just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
