Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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