Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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