And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
