It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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