I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize