Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
