I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We had to coat check the pizza.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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