it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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