Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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