I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
