I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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