It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
